Falling for a Frog
All my life I have considered myself a romantic. I love old movies with happy endings, I love to see the guy get the girl, I love love. Because of this, I always wanted to be in a relationship. I would make up scenarios of how I could meet “the one” and I would play them over and over in my head. For years, I dreamt about finally experiencing a real relationship.
Unfortunately, the very first relationship I found myself in turned out to be a dud. We “dated” (using that term very lightly) for all of 3 weeks and I broke up with him over the phone (ouch). He liked that my morals made me less crazy than other girls, but I did not like that he was a believer in title only. So down the drain that went.
Move on to a few years later and another person pops up in my life. Unexpected, but seemingly acceptable. Believer, check. Likes my mom, check. Outgoing, check. Good looking, check. Okay, maybe this could work.
My lack of experience and my desire for “love” led me to believe this was it and wedding bells were in my future. I did not realize that sometimes you have to wait and see if you have a prince or a frog.
Prince or Frog?
I’ve told the story before of being 10 days out from our wedding and calling it off due to the realization finally hitting me that this was so not right. A lot of flags had been popping up that I had ignored, but finally, God got my attention and I got out.
It is a humbling thing to call off a wedding. I even seriously considered marrying him just to save face and filing for divorce. Yep, it was that bad. Thankfully, good sense kicked in and I accepted the embarrassment and broke it off.
Two years after the frog and I parted ways a man came into my life that not only had the heart of a prince, he had the makings of a prince. He was still a little rough around the edges, but he had gold inside and that was shining through as bright as the sun.
Sure we had our differences, but we are human.
This was a prince for sure and 9 months after that prince and I met we walked down the aisle to commit to a lifetime together.
The Fairy Tale
Looking back now I honestly wish I could take my first two relationships back. I wish I could ask for a do over and undo those days. But this is reality and that is not possible. I kissed a couple of frogs before my prince arrived which makes me sad. It also makes me think what would I have done had I met Andrew at the same time I was dating my frog? I could have missed this man because I was settling for someone not meant for me.
I have a dear friend that did not make this same mistake. Growing up her mom used a beautiful illustration to convey the message of purity to her and because of that, she had chosen to wait until marriage for any type of physical connection, even kissing.
One day she met a young man that would change her life. She did not particularly like this young man to begin with, couldn’t stand him really, but that did not put the young man off. He eventually got my friend to go out with him and as they began to get to know each other she discovered that she did like this young man, a lot actually.
They became a couple before she entered college and before she graduated they were engaged to be married. The whole time they dated they never kissed ( sigh, heart melt). In April of 2015, they vowed before God, friends and family to be together forever with words they had written specifically for each other and as the ceremony came to an end, there on that altar, they shared their first kiss.
A man that is willing to respect your personal commitment to purity and wait for you is most definitely a prince.
I have talked to my dear friend about her dating years and she admits it got hard, but with God’s help and two people committed to purity they were able to hold out until that breathtaking day in April.
Rosie and I were both lucky enough to marry our prince’s, we have the pleasure of living our version of a fairy tale, but if you commit to a person before knowing if they are a frog or a prince you run the risk of missing your happy ending.
A Frog Will Distract You
You might be thinking, “well how do I know?” I have come to the conclusion that if you enter a relationship and that person does not gradually help you to become a better person, he might be a frog. If you spend your time trying to fix him, he might be a frog. If he distracts you from what God has called you to do, he’s probably a frog. Basically, a prince enhances your life and frogs do not.
Now, I must add that not all men stay frogs. A man that you are interested in may display frog tendency’s while he is young or even in an immature walk with God, but there is a chance he will grow out of it. The thing is, no matter how much we may desire love or desire this person we need to let them grow up on their own.
It may be hard to stay away or walk away, but if we ever want them to become a prince they are going to need to be schooled by the King without interference from a princess.
Are you kissing a frog? Are you willing to walk away and see if he will transform into a prince? Your fairy tale is possible, but only if you are willing to trust God with writing it.
Live the Lovely
A throwback to the video that inspired this post…